This past spring a mild sore throat quickly turned into a situation where I could barely swallow, and I could open my mouth only wide enough to fit a straw. I wasn’t able to eat or drink much, and so for several days I took a few sips of liquid every few hours. The pain was so great that I chose to be hungry rather than to swallow.
I had been working with a Christian Science Practitioner on another situation, and so she continued to support me. There came a day though, that I felt I wasn’t going to be able to go much longer in this condition, and I felt I should change practitioners.
I asked my husband to call for me and as soon as the prayerful work began I felt a release from concern about not eating and I felt a gentle stirring in my consciousness.
During the day, I prayed with every passage that I have memorized from the Bible, Science and Health and Mrs. Eddy’s other writings. I listened to Christian Science online lectures all through the night and listened to the audio reading of Science and Health on JSH online. I was so grateful for these!
As the days went by I realized something: that I needed to be quiet more and wait on God before I offered feedback or my opinion, especially at work. In No and Yes, page 8, Mrs. Eddy says, “We should endeavor to be long-suffering, faithful, and charitable with all. To this small effort let us add more privilege—namely, silence whenever it can substitute censure.” It became obvious that all I needed to do was trust more, and if it was right for me to say anything, God would provide the opportunity and the right words. This may sound simplistic, but for someone who has a lot of ideas coming to me on how to make things better, run more smoothly, etc., it required attentiveness on my part to hold back and wait on God.
I was making progress, although I still couldn’t eat. I was able to get up and sit at the dinner table and my husband made me smoothies. They took a very long time to drink, but I was grateful.
One night I just felt that I couldn’t stand the pain any longer and I was starving and so uncomfortable. I reached out again with my whole heart to God, and all of a sudden it became very clear that I needed to heal everything I had ever done that was unkind or wrong or missed the mark in any way. I knew the past could be redeemed and the practitioner explained that I could apply my current understanding of God to heal anything in my past. It seemed like a Herculean undertaking, but I opened my thought to what I should handle first, and memories from when I was just a little girl started coming to mind. I corrected everything, praying with verses from our Pastor (the Bible and Science and Health, together) and from Prose Works. I was very specific and I didn’t let anything go until I was completely sure I had corrected the error and replaced it with the truth about myself.
As I kept at this, little by little, my mouth started to open! And I was able to swallow more easily. Day after day and even during the night when I found it difficult to sleep, I asked God what needed correcting and something would come to mind. Healing these past errors freed me from the latent guilt that had been making its home in my consciousness, and I made steady progress.
It was a couple more weeks before I could open my mouth fully, but I was able to eat soft food and drink with more freedom. One day my jaw popped and I was able to open my mouth normally and swallow easily.
What was so wonderful about this healing was that it was truly a Christianly scientific healing because it uncovered and healed sin. I feel I was completely transformed by this healing and I am extremely grateful.